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The Italian Job Memorable movie quotes (2003)
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Storyline:
A gang of robbers, lead by career criminal Charlie Croker, create the largest traffic jam in Los Angeles history, giving them time to pull off a theft of gold bullion. They get away in their Mini Coopers, which are small enough to drive on sidewalks so they can make a clean get away before the traffic jam clears.
John Bridger: I feel so optimistic. How do you feel?
Charlie Croker: [shrugging] I'm fine.
John Bridger: Fine? You know what "fine" stands for, don't you?
Charlie Croker: Yeah, unfortunately.
John Bridger: Freaked out...
Charlie Croker: Insecure...
John Bridger: Neurotic...
Charlie Croker: And Emotional.
John Bridger: You see those columns behind you?
Charlie Croker: [looks behind him and sees the pillars] What about them?
John Bridger: That's where they used to string up thieves who felt fine.
Charlie Croker: After you.
Charlie Croker: You've got no imagination. You couldn't even decide what to do with all that money, so you had to buy what everybody else wanted.
Steve: Try this on your imagination, okay. That gold is already gone.
Steve: Still don't trust me?
Stella: I trust everyone. It's the devil inside them I don't trust.
Lyle: I am The Napster.
Left Ear: [observing the front gate to Steve's house. He sees guard dogs] Shit.
[Speaks into his wire]
Left Ear: This dude got dogs. I don't do dogs... I had a real bad experience, man.
Charlie Croker: [from their Netcom Cable van] What happened?
Left Ear: I had. A bad. Experience. Damn it. "I'm" deaf!
Stella: I don't go out with strange men. I just met you five minutes ago.
Steve: I guess I'll just have to sabotage my cable, you know, till we get to know each other well enough.
Skinny Pete: If there's one thing I know, it's never to mess with mother nature, mother in-laws and, mother freaking Ukrainians.
Charlie Croker: Look, I need a favor.
Lyle: [typing into his computer] They are about to hit a major detour and be sent your way.
[presses a button. A traffic light at one intersection turns green. Lyle then presses another button, turning the opposite light green. With both directions having greens, one car ends up sideswiping the back of another one. Lyle watches the crash, and says]
Lyle: Oops.
[He presses a different button. Another light turns green. Two cars collide and pancake together, sliding into a parked car. Lyle types into his computer]
Lyle: You'll... never... shut down... the *real*... Napster.
[At the traffic control center, the message "YOU'LL NEVER SHUT DOWN THE REAL NAPSTER" appears across all of the video monitor screens. The scene changes to various clips of gridlock across the city]
Left Ear: Damn.
Steve: Where's my truck? What the fuck happened to my truck?
[Lyle isn't answering Charlie's calls]
Handsome Rob: He only answers to "The Napster" now, Charlie
Charlie Croker: Oh, no. I am not calling you The Napster.
Lyle: Why not? You call him Left Ear.
Left Ear: Well, I am.
Lyle: And him Handsome Rob.
Charlie Croker: Well, that's because he is Handsome Rob!
Lyle: Well you can call me The Napster.
[Lyle arrives on his motorcycle. He has trouble on the bike, though]
Charlie Croker: That's Lyle. He's my computer genius. You know he's who really invented Napster? At least that's how Lyle tells it. Said Shawn Fanning was his roommate in college and stole his idea.
[We see a flashback of Fanning stealing a hard disk from a napping Lyle]
Charlie Croker: I think it's his first time riding that bike, though.
Lyle: Hey.
[Lyle falls over]
Charlie Croker: You okay?
Lyle: Yeah.
[a car drives up behind him]
Charlie Croker: That's Left Ear. Demolition and explosives. When he was ten, he put one too many M-80s in the toilet bowl.
[Cuts to the exterior of a toilet stall. Suddenly the door bursts open from an explosion. The toilet is spraying a fountain of water up]
Kid On Left: Damn, that was cool. How did you do that?
Young Left Ear: What?
Kid On Right: How did you do that?
Young Left Ear: WHAT?
Kid On Right: I said, "how did you do that?"
Young Left Ear: What?
[Flashback to present]
Charlie Croker: Lost the hearing in his right ear. He's been blowing stuff up ever since.
[a car zooms in from behind Charlie and Stella]
Charlie Croker: Handsome Rob. Premier wheel man. Once drove all the way from Los Angeles just so he could set the record for longest freeway chase.
[Cuts to Rob being chased down the freeway by a massive armada of police cars]
Charlie Croker: You know he got 110 love letters sent to his jail cell from women who saw him on the news?
[We see two women hanging a banner on a bridge saying "We heart you, Rob."]
Lyle: And then he's just the media darling... He's on the cover of all the magazines, I should of been on the cover of Wired Magazine. You know what he said? He said he named it "Napster" because it was his nickname because of the nappy hair under the hat. But he, it's because I was NAPPING when he STOLE it from me! He didn't even graduate!
Handsome Rob: I think it's time to move on, don't you? They shut him down, I wish they would do the same to you.
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